This little piggy… on a Spit

 This little piggy got a spit up its backside

Serves: Lots
Time: 12 hours… ish
Difficult: a tad

Well good morning, unless it is afternoon wherever you are in the world, in which case good afternoon. As for you night owls I guess it would be good evening to you? Well you all get the point. Hello, hi, how’s it going? I’m going to start this post with a warning… THIS POST MAY CONTAIN IMAGES THAT SOME WOULD FIND A LITTLE DISTURBING, but it also contains images that will probably make some of you drool, so make sure there is no one looking. As for those of you who don’t like to think about where your meat comes from I suggest you click on this link and head over to the lovely Laura’s Mess and enjoy some of this beautiful looking Ginger Pressed Salad.

For those of you who stuck around, you all rock, have an extra beer tonight on me. This post is all about celebration, and believe me there is plenty of reason to celebrate. Recently my brother got old, which in turn means I’m getting older and this doesn’t sit well with me. You see, I’m one of those people who like to avoid growing up and getting older and doing old people stuff (unless it is watching Better Homes and Gardens with a cup of tea on Friday nights, in that case I’m all for it). My point is… well I’m not really sure, I guess another one of those soppy inspirational quote things (what on earth is happening to me? Must drink more beer!). Getting another year older isn’t all that bad, you’re wiser, more experienced and have plenty more awesome stories to tell over a few beers… The best thing about getting older? It’s an excuse to get friends and family over to stuff their faces, consume unnaturally large amounts of booze and COOK A PIG ON A SPIT! Can you guess what I’m most excited about here?

My inner caveman was beyond excited when my brother decided he wanted to cook a whole beast on a spit to celebrate getting old. My dad and I dusted off our MAD Catering jackets  (for those of you who don’t know, MAD Catering is a fictional catering company developed by my Dad and I to cater for family events… and yes we wear chef’s jackets because we’re badass) and began to plan the day’s feast. Apparently there are people in the world who don’t eat pork?!? Not sure how they got an invite to be honest, perhaps my brother needs to re-evaluate his friends? However, there is no need to fear as my Dad and I are untrained professionals and have a great ability to consume beer and come up with great ideas. We had an entrée of lime and chilli prawns skewers, Texas lamb skewers, rosemary and salt lamb skewers and chicken wings… so many chicken wings. After that was the course we’d all been waiting for… A WHOLE ROAST PIG! Of course for a well balanced diet we threw in a coleslaw and some roast veg… happy days!

Never having cooked a pig on a spit before, Google and I became really good friends. Just to make sure we didn’t stuff this up I phoned a friend (via Instagram) to sort the advice of a world renowned expert in the art of beer consumption and cooking kick arse food. That’s right I called in the big guns Grazza from Food is the Best Shit ever who came back with words of wisdom, “a shit load of garlic, rosemary, thyme and oil”. Those words will be etched in my mind for the rest of my days, it’s probably almost tattoo worthy… almost. I’ve pieced together the ultimate guide on how we roasted this bad boy, but just like the pirate code, this is more of a rough guide… so feel free to improvise… but if you do a better job than I do and I don’t get an invite, you will be responsible for endless nights of crying…. Good luck living with that.

For the sake of avoiding protesters wanting to burn my house down for animal cruelty, I’m going to throw it out there and ask anyone considering a pig on a spit to make sure you are getting a responsibly sourced pig, one that has had a good life frolicking in the paddocks. Not only does this result in deliciously tender meat, but most importantly it means the pig has been treated with the upmost respect throughout its life. We sourced our pig through RJ our local butcher. For those who live in the Southern suburbs of Perth, I suggest you make RJ you’re local butcher too… his sausages are better than mine….

Oh one last thing… There will be another pig on a spit to come very soon… maybe even two. You see on September 27th at approximately 10.07am I asked my lover to marry me… and she said YES! WOOHOOO. If anyone has any kick ass engagement party ideas feel free to use the contact page to send them my way.

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